Where do Babies come from????

Some days I have the most random thoughts in my head!

When I was little I like most girls thought or should I say believed that babies came from a stork(oddly enough when the stork wasn't making babies he was selling pickles). That one day when I was a grown up this big bird would come and drop and little baby off on my porch and I would be a mommy.

As I grew a little older I started to believe a more "romantic" version of where babies came from. That two people met and fell in love, got married and had a baby.

I remember when my mom had "the talk" with me, I was probably about 12 or 13 years old. She said "sit down, we have to talk" so I sat down. She then went on to say "the birds go tweet tweet and the bees go buzz buzz, but it the birds ever start going buzz and the bees start going tweet don't come home because you will be having a serious issue on your hands"(thinking back this might explain why my sister TT got pregnant at 16 years old)

I was so confused and lost on why she was saying this to me and what she meant by it. I had NO IDEA she was "trying" to have the "sex/baby" talk with me. 

Now that I am a parent I often wonder how we will ever explain to our little girl where babies come from. I guess I feel she shouldn't be told or taught these "fairy tales" But I'm not sure the "truth" is something easy to explain.

Do I tell her some people meet fall in love, get married, and make babies with no issues.
Some people meet, fall in love, and need to have the help of a fertility doctor to make babies. 
Some people have to get eggs from another woman to make a baby.
Some woman have to get donor sperm, and some woman have to trust another woman to carry their baby for them.
And some woman adopt a baby that's in need of a mommy to love them.  
And some people will have no trouble getting pregnant, but some might have to take the long road(however this makes you no less a woman than anyone other woman)

Lucky for me our little girl is only 5 months old so we have a LONG time to come up with what to say.
But I hope no matter what we decide to tell her that in the end she understands that it doesn't matter how you become a mommy or how many child you are blessed with it's just a special and beautiful.I also hope she knows we are only given in life what we can handle(even when we feel we are being trusted WAY to much).

If  3 years ago I "understood"  what I now know to be "the truth" of where babies come from and how hard it can sometimes be to get there. I might have not have been so hard on myself when we were struggling to have a baby.

I guess sometimes our life journey has many lesson for us to learn!

It's Trash Night!

Have you ever had someone treat you like trash????

I have, once my sister BT was watching myself and AT. It was summer break so she was stuck with us everyday. She was the WORSE babysitter ever but she was cheap (FREE) and that's my dad's favorite 4-letter word.
Well she was suppose to take us to the public pool(shortly after this my parents had a pool put in). But being that she was lazy she took two large trash can put them on the front porch put us each in one and filled them up with water. We spent the day in those trash cans, she even fed us lunch in there. By the time she let us out (10 minutes before my parents got home from work) we were all prune like (you know wrinkly skinned, like when you would stay in the tub too long when you were little)

But that's not the trash I was talking about!

I'm talking about you try and try to be a good, caring person and yet no matter how much you step up people are always there stepping on you. Well I'm over it I'm over being a door mat and being taken for granted. I just don't understand where along the path in life people forgot "The Golden Rule" treat people how you want to be treated.
Unless of course I'm a total fool and missing the whole point? Maybe people want me to treat them like trash?????

Well that won't work for me because I'm a good person. Maybe at one time it would have, maybe when I was younger and foolish and I believed in and eye for and eye. But now, now I know what it feels like to feel you are being punished for past actions.

See I'm what I like to call an "Infertility Survivor" and for a long time I thought my "Fertility Journey" was given to me as punishment. Then one day after 2 LONG years and 9 WONDERFUL months  I gave birth to the greatest blessing in my life. At that point I realized my journey wasn't a punishment but a growing experience. I was given a chance to know true love and desire, experience unwavering endless friendship, and find myself and my faith. So no I can't treat someone like trash!

All I can do is try and not allow them to break me down or my spirit. Maybe if I try to be there for them then one day they too might have a chance to experience just some of the amazing things I did on my journey. See we are all on a journey some bigger than others some more complex than the next but in the end it's a journey. Its our journey and it's important to us.

So try no to allow yourself to be treated like trash, but more importantly try not to treat others like trash. We might be able to change others, but we can change how they effect us!
 

Losing Things!

We often lose things in everyday life, I once at work thought I lost my pen (favorite pen, even if I didn't realize it until it was gone. But I'm not sure I could have worked without it.) and spent about 20 minutes looking for it. I was literately red and sweaty (about to have a serious panic attack) because I was that upset over it's lost ( note: this wasn't just any pen so it wasn't like I could run to the store and get another. This pen was given to be by a co-worker who picked it up FREE at some event......he LOVED free stuff). So after the 20 minutes I realized it was under the piece of paper right in front of me. At this point I had a headache and needed a nap, lucky the person who gave me the pen was a serious hoarder of free pens and he had a bunch, I took them all. Problem solved!

Another time I thought I "lost" my kitten, well in reality I thought it was stolen by the mean guy who lived up the street. I saw a kitten in his window that look just like mine, so I threw mud at his house (I was 12 years old) to teach him a lesson. He caught me and told my mom, in the end he got his house clean and I still couldn't "find" my kitten.

Come to find out my Aunt got rid of the kitten (placed (stuffed) it in a mail box on her way to work, I pray it found a good home. Today she would have been on the news and going to jail) who mind you I was allergic to but still insisted on having.

To often in life we lose loved ones, some we get a chance to say goodbye and sometimes we don't either was it's never easy. You would think knowing this we would spend more time fostering healthy relationships with each other. Instead of pushing people away or leaving them out of our life.
We lose our way, our mind, and our money to taxes but we still move forward.

I think sometimes the hardest of losses is "losing touch" weather it's with your friends, family, or reality it's never easy. But then sometimes we have to chose to "lose touch" because there is only so much stepping up we can do before we realize we are getting stepped on

I guess in the end we all have a few people we wish we could "stuff in a mail box" until they learned how to be nice. 

So in the end I guess my whole point to this post is to look under the paper and see what's there, because it would be a shame to lose your favorite pen and not have a pen hoarding co-worker to replace it. :)